Abide
This past week marked our final days of ministry in Eswatini. I can’t believe how quickly this season has come and gone!! On May 6th, we will be heading back to the States. We’ll have a debrief in Gainesville, Georgia - the same place we started at training camp four months ago - and then I’ll finally be home in Colorado on May 13th. As I flip through the pages of both my journal and Bible, I feel so incredibly blessed by this entire journey… by the ways I’ve seen God move, the ways He’s met me personally, and the people I’ve connected with along the way.
Leaving Eswatini feels a lot harder than leaving South Africa. Saying goodbye to the kids at our carepoint was far from easy. It’s hard to put into words how much they mean to me and how deeply they’ve impacted my heart. Even though they obviously aren’t my own children, in so many ways it felt like they were. Getting to ask them about their school days, hearing their stories, and watching them run after our van at the end of each day are moments I’ll never forget!
One of my favorite memories was getting to use my background in dance to choreograph and teach a few different dances to groups of kids at the carepoint! Watching them learn, practice, and grow in confidence was so rewarding. In a few weeks, they’ll be performing those dances in a competition between carepoints across Eswatini, and it means so much to know I got to be a small part of that.
Another part of leaving Eswatini that makes it hard is knowing that my squad and I will soon have to part ways. They have genuinely been one of the biggest blessings of this entire experience!
If you’ve read my past journal entries, you know I’ve been learning a lot about God’s love over these past few months. But while I’ve been here in Eswatini, that’s taken a step further. I’ve been learning what it looks like to take the love He has given me and live it out toward others in a real and tangible way.
Jesus says in John 13:35 that we will be known by our love, and I’ve really been seeing how true that is. It’s not about having the right words or all the answers, but in how we love the people right in front of us.
My squad has been a living example of that to me. I’ve grown so much closer to them - walking through so many shared experiences together, from funny moments like getting proposed to by African men, to the everyday realities of sharing a bathroom between the eight of us, to serving out food side by side at the carepoint. All of it has created a bond that runs deep!
They’ve loved me in ways that feel both gentle and intentional. Their love has called me higher, pushed me to grow, and reminded me of truth when I needed it most. Through them, I’ve seen what it looks like to both receive and give love well. I’m so thankful to be leaving this trip having made some of my very best friends!!
Sitting at His Feet
As I mentioned, one of the greatest gifts from my time in Eswatini has been the sweet, genuine relationships built with the children at the carepoint. Their joy, their trust, and the way they love so freely have left a lasting mark on my heart! It’s the kind of love that doesn’t strive or perform, but simply is steady, open, and unguarded.
In the small moments, such as playing games like “Do You Love the Lord” (where they took turns dancing in the middle of a circle), sharing laughter, and sitting side by side, I’ve seen a glimpse of what it looks like to love without hesitation. I’ve learned so much just by watching them love each other and love me. So many of them, especially the little ones, just wanted to hold my hand or sit in my lap. Just being near me was enough for them; all they needed to feel close. There was something so simple and yet so profound in that. No striving, no pretending, just presence.
It made me think about what it looks like for us to abide at Jesus’s feet with that same kind of contentment. To come close without hesitation, without feeling like we have to earn His attention. Oh, how He delights in being with us!! He isn’t distant or distracted but welcomes us in with open arms. He loves it when we come close. When we open our Bibles, when we slow down enough to simply sit with Him.
Like Mary of Bethany, who chose His presence above everything else, I’m learning what it means to slow down and truly be with Him. Not rushing past His presence, not treating time with Him like a task to complete, but actually resting there. And from that place, to bring Him my best - offering, what I have, not out of obligation or pressure, but out of love!
Seeds for the Future
On our last day at the carepoint, we finally had the opportunity to garden - something we had been hoping to do since we arrived. As we planted those tiny seeds, I couldn’t help but think about everything we’ve been doing here and even in South Africa before this.
So often, it feels like we’re planting seeds in people’s hearts without ever seeing the results. There were so many moments where we showed up, loved, served, and then left without knowing what would come of it. But growth takes time. It happens slowly, quietly, and often beneath the surface where we can’t see it.
Just like those seeds will one day grow into something beautiful and fruitful, I trust that what’s been planted here will too. It’s a reminder not to be discouraged when we don’t see immediate change, but to trust that God is working in ways we can’t yet see!
So as we leave Eswatini, I pray that the seeds planted here will grow. I pray that those sweet children would grow in their faith, that they would learn to abide in Him, and that they would know the love of the Father deeply and personally. And from that place, they would go and love their families and communities with that same kind of love!!
Thank you, Jesus, for the way you love us and let us abide in your presence!
