Beloved
Two and a half weeks have already passed here in South Africa, and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude to even be here. It still feels surreal to say that I’m in Africa. Nine-year-old me would be absolutely ecstatic!
We arrived in Johannesburg on January 28th and, after several days of training and preparation, officially began ministry on February 2nd. We’re staying with and partnering alongside Impact Africa, and it has truly been such a gift. The ministry itself is beautiful, but what has stood out most is the leadership - people who genuinely love Jesus and serve with boldness, humility, and deep passion.
One thing I especially appreciate about Impact Africa is how intentionally they care for missionaries. Our base is absolutely gorgeous. There’s a small pool, flowers and trees all around, and space to simply breathe. We each have our own bed (which I honestly wasn’t sure we’d be blessed with), along with Western-style bathrooms and AC in the bedrooms. It might sound small, but those simple luxuries have meant so much!
Impact truly believes that serving God doesn’t require living in constant exhaustion. You can’t pour into others if you’re running on empty. Because we’re able to rest and be cared for here, we get to serve from a place of fullness instead of burnout, and I’m incredibly grateful for that.
How Ministry Has Been So Far
These first couple of weeks have been full in the best way. Ministry has looked like kids’ programs, evangelism, serving in local communities - including squatter camps - and simply building relationships. There’s something so powerful about sitting with someone, hearing their story, and being reminded that the Gospel transcends culture, language, and background.
One of the things that has impacted me most is the joy of the people here. Even in areas marked by deep poverty and hardship, there is such resilience and warmth. The kids especially have completely captured my heart. I can’t even describe how it feels to see their faces light up when they spot me - running over for hugs and reaching for my hand. It melts me every single time.
Their laughter, boldness, and eagerness to learn about Jesus have challenged and encouraged me more than they probably realize. In so many ways, I feel like I’m learning just as much from them as they are from me.
While this trip has definitely stretched me, I’ve never felt more spiritually alive. There’s something so humbling about stepping out in obedience and watching God move. I don’t say this lightly, and I don’t mean that my life back home wasn’t meaningful… but being here, I feel deeply aligned with what God has created me for. It’s not about me planting seeds; it’s about getting to witness Him do it and somehow be invited into the process. And that has been so, so good!!
Discovering How I Am Beloved
Over these last couple of weeks, one of the biggest things God has been teaching me is this: I am His Beloved.
That feels simple to write… but it hasn’t been simple to fully believe.
Even before training camp, before South Africa, I can see now how much of my heart was quietly searching for love. Sometimes that looked like trying to be a slightly different version of myself. A little more like this person. A little less like that one. I didn’t always realize I was doing it, but I can now see how often I tried to please people in hopes that if I could just get it right, I’d feel secure. Fully loved. Fully chosen.
Maybe then I’d finally feel enough.
But God has been gently reshaping that in me - especially through Matthew 6:25–34. When Jesus says, “Do not worry,” and points to the birds and the lilies, it feels like more than just a command not to be anxious. He’s revealing something deeper. He’s revealing value.
It feels like an invitation to trust how deeply cared for I already am. If the Father is that intentional with creation - feeding the birds, clothing the flowers - how much more intentional is He with me?
I don’t have to strive to be loved.
I don’t have to earn belonging.
I am already His.
Psalm 36:9 says, “For with You is the fountain of life.” And when Jesus talks about living water in John 4 and 7 - water that truly satisfies - I can’t help but see how often I’ve gone to empty wells hoping they would fill something only He can.
There is so much freedom in letting go of the reins. In admitting I need help. In being honest about the places that still hurt instead of pretending they’re healed. When I bring those places to Jesus, I feel safe. I feel known. I feel deeply loved.
And from that place, being spiritually fed and spiritually led, I’m learning to love others from overflow instead of emptiness.
I’m still very much in process. But I’m beginning to understand what it really means to be His Beloved.
Next Steps
First, thank you. Your prayers, messages, and encouragement mean more than you know. I genuinely feel carried by the support of so many people back home!
If you’d like to continue following along, I’ll be posting regular updates in the form of journal entries here on my website and sharing moments on social media. Prayer is the biggest way you can support me - for strength, humility, boldness in sharing the Gospel, unity within our team, and open hearts in the communities we serve.
If you feel led to support financially, there are also ways to give (see the “Support” button on the banner). Every bit truly makes a difference and helps make this mission possible.
I’m so excited about what the next few months will hold, not just here in South Africa but also in Eswatini, our second stop. Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I’m thankful beyond words!!
