Surrender
Arriving
Training camp ran from January 18th to the 25th in Gainesville, GA, and if I’m being honest, I walked into it carrying a lot more nerves than confidence. I flew in on Friday (the 16th) with my mom and my little sister, Madison.
Before everything officially began, we were able to spend some quality time together, including hiking to a waterfall. Despite knowing that goodbyes were coming, that time together was just what I needed to feel at peace with everything.
When it was time to be dropped off, God graciously covered me with an overwhelming sense of peace. I felt held by Him - a quiet reminder that I wasn’t stepping into this alone.
Meeting My Team
Meeting my team was another huge praise! We are an all-girl squad of eight, including our squad leader, Ella, and each of us comes from a different state with a different story.
It truly amazes me how intentionally God connected all of us. Every single girl has been so sweet, and I’m beyond grateful for the ways they make me feel so safe and seen. Our squad mentor, Hannah, is also one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Although she won’t be accompanying us to South Africa and Eswatini, her presence and encouragement have meant so much to me.
We are all already incredibly close, and I can’t wait to see how the Lord uses each of our gifts to minister to others across the world!
Discomfort That Brought Growth
The week of training camp was uncomfortable in all the ways that matter - sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor, using outdoor facilities, feeling tired, overstimulated, and emotionally exposed. And yet, in the midst of that discomfort, God felt near in an undeniable way.
Each day consisted of intentional quiet time, shared meals, meaningful sessions, worship, and practical scenarios designed to prepare us for the months of ministry ahead. Our phones were put away throughout the day, allowing us to fully disconnect from the outside world.
I didn’t just learn about God but also experienced Him. I found myself constantly reading my Bible, and I felt my heart soften in places I hadn’t even realized were guarded. It was as if God was gently stripping away distractions and comforts, meeting me in a way that felt both refining and deeply personal.
Learning How To Surrender
With all of this said, I truly grew in my relationship with Jesus. The word that stood out to me most was surrender - and not just surrendering my future, but surrendering my past. I realized how tightly I’ve been holding onto my mistakes, allowing shame and regret to define the way I see myself. But the Lord gently reminded me that those things were never mine to carry. He already paid for them.
Colossians 1:21-22 says, “This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.”
Training camp wasn’t so much about learning something new as it was about allowing familiar truths to finally reach my heart. I’ve always known that God loves me and gave His life so I could draw near to Him, but this week, I began to live in that truth. I began to understand that when He says I am forgiven, He truly means it and that I don’t have to keep looking back at who I was.
I’ve often been overly critical of myself, holding myself to standards God never asked of me. But there was so much freedom in laying that down and realizing I can stand before Him holy and blameless. Not because I’ve done everything right, but because of what He has already finished. My past is no longer my identity. His grace is.
There is such deep rest in knowing that my failures don’t have the final say. I am free to walk forward, not because I am perfect, but because I am forgiven.
I didn’t leave with everything figured out. But I did leave lighter… more aware of how deeply I am known, loved, and held by God. And for right now, that feels like exactly what I need as I continue stepping into the unknown with open hands.
Next Steps
I am currently writing this while sitting at the airport in Istanbul, waiting for my next flight to Johannesburg. Praise God for safe travels so far!! Please continue to pray over our hearts and for the hearts of those we will encounter when we arrive. If you would like to follow along on this journey and see pictures, our squad Instagram is @squadi.worldrace. Thank you all so much for the love, prayers, and support!
